Pray for France

If 30 Australians drowned in Sydney Harbour, it would be a national tragedy. But when 30 or more refugees drown off the Australian coast, it is a political question.

Richard Flanagan

I woke up this morning angry. Angry that this happened. And angry at the reaction from many of my friends and family. I usually try to stay quiet on issues such as this because I live in circumstances where expressing a differing "opinion" from those around me results in being a labeled a "crazy liberal looney" or being accused of "attacking" those with a differing opinion, rather than just offering a different point of view (which is 99.9% of the time the reality of the situation). But I have been moved past fear of ostracization during this time of tragedy and wish to present you all with a quick history lesson. 

On December 7, 1941 tragedy struck the United States Naval base on Pearl Harbor. The Japanese forces violently attacked our nation seemingly unprovoked and this made us understandably very angry. 

Our nations reaction do these attacks however, would live on as a glaring black spot on our history. 

Japanese internment camp after the Pearl Harbor attacks

The American people were quick to generalize and as a nation we came to the conclusion that our Japanese enemies represented all people of Japanese decent. Thus resulting in the internment of all American citizens of Japanese decent. 

actor George Takei shares his experience in a Japanese Internment camp

And now I see friends and family suggesting we do the same, or worse, to our Muslim neighbors. We yell, "The Muslims did this! The Muslims must pay!". The Muslims did not do this, a terrorist extremist group called "ISIS" did. 

If the anti-Muslim sentiment wasn't bad enough during this time of tragedy, the world is also in the midst of a massive Syrian refugee crisis. Being confused about the crisis when it first hit the media I did some research into the situation and found these helpful video's that really sum up the situation well that I'd like to share with you all now. 

 

I've seen many people on my facebook feed claiming that we absolutely cannot let these refugees into our country now! They are Muslims! They are terrorists! 

Some quick research taken from mostly unbiased sources can prove that this is simply not the case. The refugees involved in the crisis are not even all Muslim, many our Hindu, or Christian. And the purpose of their fleeing is not to bring the same terror of their home country they are trying to escape to us, if you think about that for more than a second you realize that conclusion simply doesn't make any sense. 

Muslims are not synonymous with ISIS anymore than Christians are synonymous with the Westboro Baptist Church or the KKK. 

The enemy here is not Muslims, people of Muslim decent or the refugee's from Syria. 

The enemy here is ISIS. 

And now more than ever we must unite the world against their evil ways.

Thank you for your time. 

-Ellen 

Most of My Friends are Boys

“I'm ADD and psychic. I know things ahead of time but lose track of which is which.” 
― S. Kelley Harrell



Living with ADD/ADHD can be a daily struggle for anyone. It's hard to sit through a class, it's hard to know what thoughts are worth saying and what thoughts should be kept to yourself and you usually have a minimum of 10 ideas colliding in your mind at once.
While living with ADHD is tough for anyone who suffers from the illness I want to use this blog post to talk about girls. Being a girl with ADD/ADHD is especially difficult because most of society doesn't expect it from you. I remember sitting in my Ed Psych class my freshman year and being told, "ADHD is usually found in boys, it's actually fairly rare to have a female student with this disability". I remember sitting there after being told this and thinking, "wow... I really must be weird then".

Girls with ADHD suffer from many alienating difficulties specific to their gender. To name a few;
-Acing "lady like" is harder for us. We have trouble sitting still and reading social cues.
-We often have messy handwriting. And believe me, there's nothing more embarrassing than the teacher calling out, "There's a paper with no name on it if somebody wants to claim it, it has messy handwriting so I think it's a boys" and then having to sulk up to the front of the class to claim your paper with "boy handwriting".
-girls are expected to be more still. More preserved. (Which is garbage but that's a blog post for another time) Needless to say girls with ADHD are not that.
-Girls with ADHD are messy. They often times simply forget to clean up after themselves. Which is another trait more often contributed to the male gender (again this is garbage, but a blog post for another time).
-We often have difficulties with fine motor skills as well, which makes doing "girly" things like putting your hair up, doing make up or crafting, very difficult for us.

I can speak from experience when I say growing up as a girl with ADHD often times makes it very hard to fit in, in traditionally feminine spaces. A lot of my close friends growing up were boys because I simply fit in with them more. I had a much better time running around outside than staying inside and playing house. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that!

I wrote this post to let the girls with ADD/ADHD know that they aren't broken. You aren't weird. You're you and that's fantastic!

This is for the girls who have always had to say,  "Most of my friends are boys".
-Ellen

Life is What Happens

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.

John Lennon

Today I threw away my plans. No I don't think you understand... I literally threw away a piece of paper I have kept for over a year now that had my plans for my life outlined, point by point. I had kept it tucked away in my pencil holder at my desk in my cubicle at my summer job. Whenever I would start to feel down I would pick it up, unfold the piece of paper, and remind myself to keep my eyes on the prize. Scribbled at the bottom was the quote, "Tell me, are your afflictions dear to you?", providing a constant reminder that if I allow myself to become resigned to a situation I don't like, I am essentially holding that situation near and dear to my heart. Laziness is the enemy of happiness and contentedness. 

But today. Today I threw that paper away. 

"But Ellen, Why would you throw something so important away? Nothing is wrong about making goals!"

You're absolutely right! There is nothing wrong with keeping an end goal in mind whilst going about your everyday life. The issue lies in the plan. This wasn't simply a piece of paper that said "someday I'm going to do____". This paper had bullet points. This paper had a detailed timeline. And most importantly, this paper had A LOT of scribbled out words. 

-"Get a teaching job!" became "get a good starter job in marketing!"

-"Either don't get married or wait until you have a career!" became "eehhhhhh I guess you can get married and still have a career"

- "Learn how to make a new kind of guacamole recipe!" became "DO NOT DO THIS YOU ARE VERY ALLERGIC TO GUACAMOLE"   

Well... maybe that last one was an exaggeration... I am allergic to guacamole though... 

The point is... my plan kept changing. 

And that's okay! That means I'm growing and becoming more of the person I'm meant to become. But that also means I can't be keeping around pieces of paper with my entire life planned out in blue ink. It's unreasonable to think you can plan everything out with a ballpoint pen and a yellow legal pad. Life is far too complicated and magnificently bizarre to ever be reduced to that sort of thing. However life is also filled with way too many amazing opportunities and adventures to simply throw up a white flag and say, "well. I guess this is something". Keep you goals tattooed on your heart, not on a spreadsheet. 

Today. I threw my plans away. But let me ask you, are your afflictions dear to you?

-Ellen 

The Punchline

"The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction."

- Robin Williams 

      If I'm being completely honest with all of you I had every intention of abandoning this blog months ago. And I followed through with those intentions for a very long time. However recently I've felt inclined to pick it back up instead of leaving it in a box on a street corner "with free to a good home" written on the side, for the sole purpose of writing this post. 

    When you first meet me I will come off as very shy. And I'll probably come off that way for the first few months we know each other if I'm being completely honest. (If you listen closely you can hear the sounds of people who have known me for years and know me as anything but "shy" laughing at the fact I would ever claim such a thing). But it's true. I will stand in corners and not participate, maybe murmur a joke every now and again. That's because I'm waiting to find out how to position myself as the punchline.

      I was in 4th grade when I first discovered the magic of the position of punchline. It was a year after I had been diagnosed with ADHD and Anxiety and in my 9 year old brain that all meant I was crazy. It meant that nothing I could ever say would ever be considered valid and it meant despite how everyone acted towards me, no one was ever really listening to me. It meant I was stupid, a burden, not really worth anyone's time. But then one day on the playground I found it. I was sitting with a friend of mine next to the kick ball court quoting Spongebob (as most 9-22 year old's do) when I proclaimed, "I'M UGLY AND I'M PROUD!".

She laughed. 

She called people over. 

They were paying attention to me. 

"huh" I thought... "I'm ugly and I'm proud."

     Now of course I didn't actually think I was ugly. But I did think I was stupid, clumsy, lazy, ect. So I started to make jokes about these things-

"ha, classic me, can't figure this thing out... I'm so stupid!" *cue laugh track*. 

After this sort of self deprecating humor continued for awhile I had taken my throne as the punchline of my group of friends. I was the one you made fun of because I wouldn't fight back, I would laugh along with you. My reign as punchline lasted many years and many different groups of friends. I was getting the attention I had always craved but I couldn't help the feeling that although all of these people were paying attention to me, I still wasn't really being listened to. I wasn't a whole person.... I was the joke. I was the satire, I was the irony, I was the comedic relief when everyone else needed it. The things I said were funny, the situations I found myself in were funny, my existence was funny. 

When I got accepted to a good school I felt like I couldn't share my excitement with anyone... because that wasn't funny. 

When I got the big solo I told very few people... because that's not something the punchline would do. 

Getting inducted into the National Honor's Society???? Where's the humor in that???

Punchline's trip on banana peels. 

Punchline's get squashed by falling anvils. 

Punchline's get slapped by handles of unsuspecting rakes. 

Punchline's  do not win awards. 

It was the end of my senior year I realized the throne I sat on was made of barbed wire. 

I no longer wanted to be the punchline. 

But how do you have a voice when it's not reciprocated by laughter?

I'm still struggling with the idea that people would really care about what I have to say and that my opinions are just as valid as those around me. I spent so many years sitting on my rusty throne that I'm still pulling metal splinters out from my side and slapping bandages of validity over the scars they leave. 

But this I know, I am no longer the joke. And you don't have to be a joke to be important. 

You are valid and important. You are not below your peers. 

You don't have to be the punchline. 

-Ellen